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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Forwarded Email

This was forwarded to me today, and it was too good not to share. Enjoy:

Children writing about the ocean

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly, age 6)


2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island .
If you don't have ocean all round you, you are
incontinent. ( Wayne , age 7)


4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth,
just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)



5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)


6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and
pots and comes back with crabs.(Millie, age 6)


7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade
winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind
didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make
the wind come. My brother said they would have been better
off eating beans.(William, age 7)


8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful
and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)



9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother
is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.
Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live
in caves under the sea where I think they have to
plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)



11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold,
and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Pull my hair

Niki and I have been talking about adopting a child as our fourth child and Ky overheard us.

She made sure to interject and tell us: "Get one that doesn't pull my hair like Crouton!"

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

On top of things ...

Something fell on Ky in her bed, so I went to check on her. It seems she had too much stacked up next to her bed, so I told her she needed to take care of that. She says: "I'll get right on that". Then dozed back off sitting straight up.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Skin

Ky has a few scars on her leg from scratches.

She asked me today: "Daddy, does skin grow back?"

Again, trying to prompt a response I said: "No, why?"

She said: "Oh then what's this white stuff on my leg?"

Continuing with my satire: "Probably tooth paste."

Ky, confused: "Uhm, what daddy? No this white stuff where I have hurt myself."

Finishing it up, I respond with: "Oh that! That's just bacteria that has joined together to cover your cut."

Poor thing. I let her have a scared look on her face for a minute or two before telling her differently :)

Friday, June 4, 2010

Is Momma good to you?

Apparently Ky is getting into that mushy little girl stuff. Today she asked me:

Ky: "Daddy... How did you know Momma would be good to you?"

Jokingly, I responded: "Momma's not good to me." I wanted to see what she would respond with, and she patiently sat there thinking of a response.

Ky: "That's not good. We gotta fix that!"

Yes, I explained to her that Momma is truly good to me and all of us. We have the best Momma anyone can ask for!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Where are we going ...

Ky and I got in the car the other day to run up to the bank and had this conversation:

Ky: "Where are we going daddy...?"
I don't respond, because I'm deep in thought.
Ky: "Please tell me where we are going."
We arrive at the bank.
Ky: "Ooooooh! Must be somewhere expensive!"

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Wait ... Who?

DD was reading her new book on the way out of town Friday. The book's title is:

"Skippy John Jones"

DD told us it was a girl, so it's name was really:

"Bichey John Jones"

You can't make this stuff up...
 
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